Why I make pretty little hankies

I make pretty little hankies because we need them. 

A well-meaning woman once commented on this handkerchief I made, "It is a cute pattern but no one uses handkerchiefs anymore so you need to put it on something else." I didn't respond. I was hurt, thinking back on the many many hours I had just worked happily creating my art and her suggestion was to toss it and try again. After swallowing some pride, my thought was, "I use them."

Just so you know, I do know what Kleenex is. I'm not saying use my handkerchiefs for when you have the flu. That is kind of a bad and gross idea. What I am saying is when you are moved or saddened, using a handkerchief is a deeper comfort than a tissue for those few falling tears. It isn't just the softness or the eco-friendly advantage that appeals to me, although there is that too. It is the connection to beauty, to the past, the texture of the stitches, and partaking in the simple old tradition of carrying a handkerchief that adds to my comfort.

 Tears come. Sometimes when we are lucky enough they are tears of joy which is why making bridal handkerchiefs are fun. This one was bought by a man to give his bride on their wedding day. I felt very honored to be a tiny part of their special day. 

Sadly most tears are not for the happy times. A very sweet and thoughtful brother bought this handkerchief for his sister. Her daughter was fighting the last of her battle with leukemia. I have learned as an artist there is no greater feeling than when you know your work has reached the person made for. I had no idea when I made this who it was for but now I know it was for this grieving mother. My hope is it brought her comfort. 

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4

I started carrying around a hankie in my purse regularly after my daughter passed away. The tears would come anytime anywhere and this was one of my only ways of coping for that time. It is a very simple and helpful tip I have passed on to other mamas of loss. My love for pretty little hankies started when they provided me the comfort I so needed. 

Jesus said, "...In this world you will have trouble but take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Caged bird handkerchief

Butterfly handkerchief

The tulips in the rain handkerchief is not currently on Etsy but still for sale. Contact me if you are interested. 

My daughter Jamie's story.

 The Girl in the Lane Shop 

White Bear

This is my White Bear.

This is an original design I hand embroidered.

 White bears remind me of my daughter Jamie who passed away shortly after birth. That is where this project started. For me this piece represents life continuing after loss.

 I do not mean for this piece to be sad. I was actually very happy as I made it and I want to show that there can be peace and joy. It is a very personal piece which I did not intend to sell originally but for me the healing was in the making. I love it and I want someone else to love it as well.

When you lose anyone you love you do not get over it and you do not move on. You move forward. You continue with life. 

The loss is always there and it takes its part in shaping your world. This is a good thing.

Loss can build strength.

Loss can create compassion.

Loss can bring beauty.

The Girl in the Lane Shop

What inspires me may inspire you: Jamie

Some of you know but some of you do not so here is my story, our story, her story.

In fall of 2010 I was five months pregnant with my second. My husband, Andrew and I went to the baby’s first ultrasound. This would have been where we found out if our baby was a boy or a girl but we had already decided early on to wait and keep this a mystery. We were told our baby had the fatal condition anencephaly. We later found out the cause was actually Amniotic Band Syndrome, a rare and random syndrome.  The head and face did not form properly and there was zero chance of the baby living outside the womb. Devastation does not even begin to describe.

We decided to continue the pregnancy. We decided but really there was no deciding about it. I could feel life moving inside me. I could not decide on what day that life would end. As parents we decided to give the baby time and a name. Jamie.

We carried. I say we because I could not have done it without Andrew, or Avia. She was almost five at the time. She brought me joy on the hard days. We hoped and we prayed because this is what parents do for their children. We cried too.

I was told with the diagnosis the baby would be stillborn anytime. The hospital bags were packed and we waited. Some days were long hours of feeling nothing and the many empty fears of not knowing. Never knowing. During these days I prayed harder, cried longer, and read my Bible more than any other time in my life.These days were cold and weary at the time but now looking back I see them as days of growth. As I mourned Jamie’s coming death I was becoming stronger. Some days were like any other day. Some days I laughed. Some days I didn’t. Some days, more and more days as they turned to weeks which turned to months, I got to know my child. I enjoyed just being with Jamie.

Jamie was born the day after her due date on January 22, 2011 at 6:30 in the morning. She lived 64 hours. She could hear, move, feel, make sweet little squeaky noises, and we believe smell, taste, and see as well. I was told she would not be able to do any of these things.

Many, more than I know, prayed for life for Jamie along with us. Thank you. We had hope. I do not regret any of this hope. It means we loved her and we did our jobs as parents in loving her. The job of parenting is different for every child. The job of parenting Jamie was to gently guide her from this world to the next. We were blessed Jamie lived to term, we were blessed she survived the labor, and we were blessed with every second of the 64 hours of life she had. Our prayers were answered. It was not the answer we were looking for and it was not the life we had in mind for our daughter but all life is a gift no matter how small.

This is not the end of the story. One year later on January 22, 2012 at 4:30 pm our son, Calvin was born on his big sister’s birthday. The story continues to grow. I do not claim to fully understand God’s answer. I probably never will in this lifetime and I am fine with that, but I trust in His answer more and more. More and more I see the good that He has done and continues to do because of Jamie.

Jamie inspires me in many ways. One way is in my art. White bears and snowflakes remind me of her. Rainbows become brighter after having weathered a storm. 

Mostly she ignites creativity in me because there is so much I do not know about her. I enjoy imagining what she would like, colors, creatures, flowers. I imagine what she is like in heaven, what she does, and mostly what she looks like. She had severe deformities so her face is very much a mystery. She appears now and again in many of the girls I draw. She is like my own little muse. Jamie is an important part of The Girl in the Lane because she is an important part of our family.

Andrew and I would like to invite you to join us for Jamie’s Random Act of Kindness Day. All you have to do is be nice to someone on January 22nd. We simply want people to celebrate her life and bring a little good to this world for her birthday. Please join us.

My Jamie inspires me. What inspires you?

The Girl in the Lane Shop