I had no idea what to write about for Easter. Here I am trying to be free and honest about my art, faith, and life and Easter totally stumped me. I haven't even been looking forward to Easter this year. No matter how much I tried, the plastic eggs and smiling bunnies were not the motivation I needed to fully celebrate the resurrection of my Savior.
I have been in a spiritual funk. It happens. The husband and I have been busy with boring grownup stuff which seems really important but actually isn't. I really want to do God's will with this and every situation. I have been trying to listen. It seemed like the more direction I wanted the more silence I felt. I wanted so badly to do God's will that I was starting to get scared about makingwrong decisions. I didn't even know what project to start next and was anxious about starting the wrong thing.
With the help of Watchman Nee's The Normal Christian Life, the thought occurred to me that maybe there was something I was still holding on to and that is why I was hearing silence. Maybe there was still something I wasn't willing to let God handle so I wasn't getting the direction I was craving. This began my asking for more direction and the racking of my brain trying to figure out what the something was. I didn't know what to write on this blog so I was willing to never write on here again. Job, money, whatever, I was willing to hand it over to Him but the more I was willing to hand over the more I realized my motivation was out of fear of not doing His will instead of a desire to do His will.
Fear is what I was holding on to.
God asks nothing of me. Jesus's death was enough to meet all requirements. All He wants is my willing heart. He knows I am going to mess up. He can handle it. Jesus didn't rise from the grave to give me a new life full of fear and burden. He gave me a life of freedom, hope, and love. If I bring Him my willing heart without worry, His will will be done.
Spiritual funks happen. The important thing to remember is they bring growth.
Happy Easter to all!The Girl in the Lane shop