Wednesday, February 12, 2014

A few words to keep in mind this Valentine's Day.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Valentine’s Day. I love making silly cards for my husband and kids. I love all the cute decorations. I love love love that it involves chocolate. Valentine’s Day is a great day to do something fun for the people you love. I was going to share a cute last minute Valentine’s Day craft but I am pretty sure there are a billion and a half of those already on Pinterest. I decided to be a little more honest instead.

Heart dino foot.
For those of you who are single please see your current state as a great opportunity. I know it is hard to hear that from a married woman with kids but it’s true. My husband and children require my time and energy. There is nothing wrong with that. It is just where I am. When someone is single there are different opportunities available.

Pink and Green heart
You have opportunities to love. There are a lot of people who need love out there and I am not talking about dating sites full of people wanting romantic love. I mean a kid who needs a mentor, a coworker who needs a kind word, the homeless man who needs a new pair of socks.

You have opportunities to be loved. One of the most meaningful gifts I ever received on February 14th was one flower from a friend when I was single. Love from family and friends is much undervalued in our overly sexual culture. We, both single and taken, need to remember to think outside the romantic heart-shaped box when it comes to love. Love is bigger.

Loneliness is real and it hurts. I am sorry. When I am lonely, and yes married people even happily married people feel lonely from time to time, I talk to the one I know always loves me or I read his love letters. Maybe Valentine’s Day could be an opportunity for you to know God's love. His love is more than enough.

Alright if any of you not single types are still reading, you’re up. Valentine’s Day is many great things but Valentine’s Day is not the day to rush a relationship or pretend feelings that are not really there. It is not a day to judge where your whole relationship stands and it is not a day to decide what your commitment means. There are more divorces filed the week after Valentine’s Day than any other time of the year. This is a huge problem. There is obviously a great deal involved with this, more than just Valentine’s Day but there is a stupid amount of expectation tied into the day. I am pretty sure the pressure to be perfect at romance is most heavily felt by men but it is on both sides. More importantly when expectations are too high a couple as a whole can feel strain. I realize I am not in any sort of a position to give advice but I am going to anyway. Keep it fun and simple. Communicate what you actually want and expect from one another.

I write all of this because although I obviously like a cute craft with a heart involved, I like thriving marriages more. Here are two marriage helpers.

One Extraordinary Marriage Podcast

Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Detail from my latest almost finished project. I cannot wait to share it.
I did not realize I have made so many hearts.

Happy Valentine's Day!

The Girl in the Lane Shop

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